Day 5

Love is Not Rude

Proverb 27:14

He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early

in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.

*Proverb 25:24 ~ It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
*Psalm 112:5 ~ A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion.

Two Reasons for Being Rude:
1) Ignorance
2) Selfishness

Ask These Questions to Test Myself:
1) How does Anthony feel about the way I speak and act around him?
2) How does my behavior affect Anthony's sense of worth and self-esteem?
3) Would Anthony say I'm a blessing, or that I'm condescending and embarrassing?

Three Guiding Principles for Practicing Etiquette in My Marriage:
1) Guard the Golden Rule ~ Treat Anthony the way I want to be treated.
* Luke 6:31 ~ And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
2) No Double Standards ~ Be considerate to Anthony as I am to others.
3) Honor Requests ~ Consider what Anthony already asked me to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask him.

Today's Dare

Ask Anthony to tell me 3 things that cause him to uncomfortable or irritated with me.

Do this without attacking him or justifying my behavior. This is from his perspective only.

What did Anthony point out about me that need my attention? How did I handle hearing it? What do I plan to do to improve these areas?

~ Okay, so I knew this dare was going to be a big challenge, for me. Anytime Anthony points out anything he doesn't like about me, I tend to argue and try to defend myself. I want to explain and justify what I do. So, I knew this would be a hard one. But, I did good! I was open to what he had to say, and I didn't argue or try to defend or justify anything.
   Here are the three things he said.

1. He thinks I spend too much time on the computer
2. He thinks I'm too bossy.
3. He thinks that too many times, I leave when he gets home.

   The first and third things were no surprise to me. He's actually mentioned those two things recently, so I was expecting him to say them. The second one threw me. I wanted to argue, but instead, I asked what he meant by that. I wanted to understand. I mean, I'm Momma. I'm suppose to be bossy, right? What he'd meant, though, was that he thinks I boss him around, too. Maybe I do.....
   So what am I going to do about these things?

   He thinks I spend too much time on the computer. Maybe I should have certain times of the day to be online. A time limit might not be such a bad idea, either.
   He thinks I'm too bossy. Hmmm....maybe I am. I need to start watching how I speak to him, and maybe I'll see what he's talking about.
   He thinks I'm gone a lot. I personally think that I'm not, but, he does, so I'm going to have to change how I do things. I do go to town in the evenings. I don't like taking the kids to the store. A few times I've been going to do things with Nicole, but not much. I'm not sure why he thinks I'm gone all the time, because I feel like I'm home ALL the time. I know that the entire winter, I was stuck at home with one sick son or another. Maybe he's not used to me not being here all the time. I did start going a doing more once everyone started feeling better. I think I was going stir crazy. I really don't know how to fix this one. I honestly feel like he'd be fine if I never went anywhere, and I think I'd go crazy. I'm going to need help figuring this one out. He goes to work all day, and I stay home with the boys. That is a choice I made, and I wouldn't change that, but there are times when I need a bit of a break. Maybe I'm wrong. I know my family comes first, but if I can't take some time to refresh myself, then I will have a breakdown, I think. Yep, I need help with this one.


Ecclesiastes 10:12 ~ The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.